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Better Left in the Past
}}Thor discusses different previous worlds, and how he arrived in the Order of the Stick type universe. Cast * Durkon Thundershield (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Minrah (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Thor ◀ ▶ * Pizza ◀ * Soda ◀ Transcript Minrah: Holy You... Look at 'em all! Durkon: Thar're millions o' 'em. Mebbe billions! More'n c'n be counted! Thor: Moments like this, I'm a little jealous of your mortal limitations. Thor: I can count them. Thor: I remember everyone who's ever worshipped me. Thor: Some of those worlds, we saved—by which I mean, we killed everyone but cashed out their souls before the end. Thor: Others we didn't. Thor: And of course, we tried different things every time. Thor: That one was a gritty cyberpunk world. The one next to it was talking animals Thor: And the one behind it was gritty cyberpunk talking animals. Thor: Your time was too short, Laser-Snail. Thor: Heck, one time we even tried a world with sentient movie theater snacks! Flashback to that world Soda: Enjoy 32 oz. of vengeance— Soda bisects Pizza with a "SLICE!" Soda: —served ice cold! Thor: I mean, obviously we were scraping the bottom of the idea barrel when we came up with "self-aware stick figure fantasy parody." Durkon: I wanna be offended by tha, but it explains so much. Thor: We've gotten better at extending the time each world survives. We're up to a few thousand years each, give or take. Thor: But then rifts open, every time, and the Snarl starts reaching out and destroying stuff. Durkon: So then...thar's no point. Tha cycle'll keep goin' forever. Its inevitable. Durkon: Yer tellin' us we're just waistin' our time fightin' aginst it. Thor: What? No! The exact opposite! Thor: I wanted you to fully appreciate the scale of the problem—and the once-in-an-eternity that your specific world has given us to change things— Thor: —maybe forever! Thor: It would be a real jerk move on my part to bring you all the way out here just to rub your face in the futility of it all. Thor: What kind of deity do you think I am? Durkon: Ye did almost give me friend Elan a colon tumor wit yer automated prayer system. Thor: And you "almost" didn't bring that up, but here we are. Trivia * Thor's reference to Laser-Snail may be to an alternate incarnation of The Snail, the villain from the Dragon magazine Order of the Stick comics. * Durkon brings up the colon tumor, a reference to ThorPrayer® from #7, "ThorPrayer" and #40 The Gods Must be Busy. * This is the only other appearance of Pizza and Soda in the main comic. They also appear in #301, "A Brief Intermission". This time, Soda gets revenge on Pizza for killing Milk Dudes in their earlier appearance. They also appear in a bonus strip in Blood Runs in the Family. External Links * 1140}} View the comic * 568937}} View the discussion thread